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It Will Hurt, and You Won​’​t Get to Be Surprised

from In My Saddest Dreams, I Am Beside You by Dreamwell

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lyrics

You are the song of my soul, and I have ruptured the chords. I sing notes transposed to rusted angel’s harps. I have left peace and comfort bleeding on my doorstep as I chase a love fabricated. I’ve hanged by the words of desolate sermons and became an expert in discarding my blessings. I want to see the place inside of your promise. I want to taste the nectars while I’m still alive. You must have known your gospel was preying on the meek. The hurt, the lost, the blind. I am the fool of a God who holds me inches from the joy that I have earned, and he watches me as my desperate hands tremble and stretch to finally grasp the gift that he has offered then pulls me away to reopen my pain. He keeps me hurting by reminding me of what I lack. And it’s my fault for believing that you could have been fate. That I could have been fated to something that makes me glad to be alive. From now on I’ll only have faith in my misery and be confident in the breaking of things that are special to me. In the freezing of everything warm and the teeth behind every kiss. I am faltering. You can’t fault me for believing I’m worthy of receiving the fantasy you fed me. I am the one who made the mistake of trying to let something in. Maybe one day I will learn, the best that I can feel is numb. I’ll never again confess love. Next time I’ll bite through my tongue. The blood of your broken covenant is that which stains your delicate hands. I long to be rid of mine, but Zion’s river is frozen where it stands. Let my love into your heart. Give it a warm place to die.

credits

from In My Saddest Dreams, I Am Beside You, released October 20, 2023

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Dreamwell Providence, Rhode Island

emo post skramz from Providence, RI.

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