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Painting Myself a Darker Day

from Modern Grotesque by Dreamwell

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lyrics

I've been painting shadows on the wall with the light of the time that I've been burning to get my life in order. Always moving. Always on the verge of breaking. Sometimes I need the silence and the stillness of an empty place. Sometimes, I don't have what it takes to be near another. I need space to not think. I don't mean to make you feel like I don't care about the precious moments when our time intersects. I'm just nervous for the future. Exhausted by the present. Hands are shaking and always on the verge of beating myself into the ground where I can get some sleep. I'm so desperate for sleep. Dark days, I need to be alone. I have nothing to offer but disjointed spaces. I have nothing to offer but these withered limbs. My heart still beats even when I'm motionless. I'm so sorry I've been distant from your side. From your life. From your love. I don't want to be like this anymore.

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from Modern Grotesque, released February 26, 2021

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